New Year...Old life

sadly not much has changed from one day to the next, stepping from dec to jan, i wonder why we always expect it will?

I am sad to have confirmed to myself how people are not brave, and things that should be a joy are hidden for reasons i remain unsure of. I am sad to realise that you can love someone, and that means nothing. that people move on, is important, essential- but that they leave you behind is hard to forgive. at the end of each days journey trust is hard to secure in people, the end result is to follow the words of the Lord, which is not to build your dreams and life in the world but in the Lord- poetical but only partly true. As a human i will continue to interact and move through this existence as i know it, to ask me anything less is folly- now Paul and the others are far from foolish, and perhaps i see this teaching in a warped way- becuase i wish too (asking the question in that way is almost like answering it); but just as i am annoyed by bumping into people who don't live in our world and proclaim the virtures of the Lord as if he had not been among us, so too am i vexed by the sight of those who live only for themselves, God's gift to the street they live on, the town they do their shopping in.

Its not nice to find yourself unchanged at the begining of 'new' year.

ahem, in another news: i recieved an A on my Leviticus paper, i got a 1,100$ scholarship, i live with an angel-Flo, i have an oppourtunity in feb to begin working towards my Phd...and i am complaining- shame on me!! but as one knows, whats going on on the outside, is rarely reflected on the inside.